Everything looks awkward. Everything feels awkward. The distance between them is too wide despite the fact that they are just sitting beside each other.
The screen shows Kao on the left and Janeyeh on the right. It’s been a long time since they’ve been seen together. After all the noise online, the ruckus of the rumors involving Kao being prohibited to see Janeyeh, fans have been waiting for this TikTok Live. As if it’s a miraculous salvation that will quench the yearning in their hearts for the couple. Besides, this engagement was promised last February — Valentine’s Day to be exact. Yet everyone just got their hearts broken since the event was postponed.
And here they are, together at last. But at what cost? The awkwardness is appalling. It’s lingering through and through. The sweet kind of awkwardness before is replaced with stiffness and a lot of restriction.
This is the first time we’ve met and talked again, after a long time, Kao confirms. Janeyeh just nods.
The TikTok live ends and Kao stands up. She thanks everyone in the staff. She goes to Barbie as they arrange her things, preparing to head out.
Jane does the same but goes to her sister. As her sister fixes her things, she is looking at Kao — from afar, as if trying to reach something miles away, when her leading lady is just four meters away from her. Until Kao and Barbie walk away.
You know you can’t get things if you’re just looking at them, right? Nilyne asks as he stuffs Janeyeh’s make up in the bag. Not looking at her younger sister.
What if I do, yet I get pushed away?
What if you don’t?
Jane sprints to the exit. She’s in front of the building where cars arrive to fetch people. She walks toward right, none. To left, empty. She sighs as she heads back to the center where the exit is. Suddenly, it rains.
She closes her eyes and bites her lower lip out of frustration. She opens them and looks up at the sky, her face catching all the drizzle. Wow. Just wow, she whispers with her chin up.
Then the sky is replaced by black.
She turns around and sees a familiar tight-lipped smile, accompanied by two brown eyes looking at her.
Planning to get all wet? New style? Kao asks, holding the umbrella above their heads. She takes one step closer, not to close the gap between them, but to make sure Janeyeh’s safe from getting wet further.
Janeyeh’s lungs start to constrict. She inhales. Deep. While she’s looking at the lady’s face in front of her. Her lips, ajar. Her eyes, blinking.
Kao raises her right eyebrow. Face inquisitive,waiting for the other girl to say something. She slightly looks away, and somehow smiles. She puffs a breath and some strands of her bangs dance. Her gaze goes back to Janeyeh.
What? Did you forget how pretty I am that you forget all the words you know? Kao chuckles. You might catch colds. I’ll bring you to your car, kid. Just tell me where it is.
Janeyeh immediately raises her hand to wrap the hand that holds the umbrella. I’m sorry, she starts to say. I’m sorry for not texting. I’m sorry for not reaching out. For being silent after everything. I’m sorry for not doing anything.
Kao looks down. Inhales deeply that Janeyeh sees her shoulders go up then down. Janeyeh doesn’t see it but Kao’s smile falters as she’s looking at their shoes. Yeah. You didn’t.
It was too soft. The rain almost devoured Kao’s answer. If Janeyeh isn’t merely inches away, she’ll miss it. But she heard every word. Every pause. Clearly. Loudly. Loud enough to break her heart. Loud enough to tighten her grip to Kao’s hand on the umbrella. She starts to bite her lips.
But Kao lifts her head back again, with that smile; as if nothing happened. She’s welcomed by tears.
Kao swiftly pulls a handkerchief from her pocket and wipes Janeyeh’s cheeks. This is clean, I swear!
Janeyeh starts to giggle and takes the hanky with two hands so she can wipe her face instead of letting Kao do it.
Thank you. And., she pauses.
And I’m sorry because I still can’t do anything about it. About this. I don’t know if I can do something about it, Janeyeh continues.
She sees Kao taking a step back. It’s OK, she says while looking at her, straight to her eyes. Kao says it genuinely. A hundred percent. Together with the sadness around it. Though in her surrender is acceptance that this is where they are. This is what they are. Just this. Whatever this is.
I wish you the best with Billkin. You look good together, she says smiling. There’s no bitterness in it, sure, but loneliness? Yes.
Billkin and I are nothing! Janeyeh hurriedly says. I swear! She’s not thinking of the repercussions anymore. One thing she can do is to tell Kao the truth.
I just met him once, again, because of that event. It wasn’t planned. Even him, he doesn’t know why people are suddenly shipping us but both of our management thought it'd be nice to milk it so they didn’t say anything about the rumors of us being together. They also told us to not say anything!
It’s you I like! I’ve liked you since Hormones. I like you until now! For the longest time, you’re the only one I want to date even if I know I don’t have a chance with you!
The rain softens a bit but you can still hear its drops on the umbrella that shelters them both at the moment, at the center of empty grounds.
Jane realizes what she all said. She feels her left hand gripping Kao’s hanky too hard, her fingers might break. She snaps back.
Kao is silent. Bewildered.
I’ll… I’ll return your handkerchief. I promise! I’ll contact Barbie if you won’t give me your address. Thank- thank you!
Suddenly feeling a little embarrassed, Janeyeh tries to run away. But Kao is quicker. She grabs her wrist and takes a step closer to put the umbrella back above Janeyeh’s head.
P’Kao, I know you have… somewhere else to be. I don’t… I don’t want to take your time anymore, Janeyeh starts to mumble. I know you don’t like being late.
Kao pulls Janeyeh by her nape. She angles her head to the left and kisses her.
Soft. Her lips brush hers. Gentle.
And as much as she’s taken aback, Janeyeh kisses her in return. She has waited too long for this. She never thought this would happen outside their work.
Kao separates her lips from Janeyeh’s. The other girl absent-mindedly moves her head forward to chase Kao’s lips but she realizes. Janeyeh opens her eyes and clears her throat.
Kao smiles as she witnesses what happened. She places her right hand on Janeyeh’s left cheek, with her thumb gently stroking it twice.
You’ve always had the chance. I was just waiting for when you’ll grab it. Or… if I should ask you to give me a chance.
Oh.
Janeyeh didn’t verbalize it but her face says the Oh — italicized.
The rain continues. The lot is still empty.
Are you serious about returning the hanky and about wanting the chance? Kao probes.
But Jane’s still lost for words. It’s only the rain that’s answering her.
Kao pulls Janeyeh toward the space where there's a roof. She steps away once she settles Jane under it.
Don’t get sick, OK? she reminds her. Kao smiles as she spins around and starts walking. Janeyeh looks at her. She sees Kao pulling her phone from her pocket and puts it to her ear.
I’ll call you! Janeyeh shouts.
Kao turns to look at her and sees Janeyeh holding a phone.
Janeyeh snaps a photo of Kao — with phone in right hand to her ear, an umbrella on the other hand, smiling with her eyes at her. The raindrops are a graceful background. And for some reason, everything in the photo looks radiant. She waves with full enthusiasm toward Kao.
I’m sorry. I know. We’ll be late, Kao says to the person on the phone. She opens the door to her car and Barbie welcomes her, dropping the phone to her lap.
Shh. Barbie waves her hand, gesturing not to worry about it. I already told them that the ever early, ever on-time Kao Supassara will be late. For the very first time. And they started to wonder what might be the reason. Probably too important! Barbie teases as she emphasizes the last two words.
Kao starts to blush. Tries not to smile but she fails. Thank you, Barbie. She starts to lock the seatbelt with a very huge sweet grin.
Barbie steps on the gas. Janeyeh should thank me, too.
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Over text: Barbie said you should thank her. ;)
The next day, on Barbie’s Instagram Post: A photo of all of Barbie’s favorite treats in a basket: chocolates, chips, strawberries, with four stems of pink Gerberas. The card says, Thank you, Barbie! - Janeyeh
Barbie’s caption reads: Sweet, sweet, Janeyeh! I thought I’ll get pink Lego flowers but I know those are reserved for someone. :)))))) Thank you, Ms. Yeh! <3
Everyone who saw Barbie’s post: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
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Image from Love Design, episode four. I thought of using it instead of the Cute Press TikTok live because I want to visualize the closeness with the umbrella scene. And that aquarium scene is way too beautiful!
Comments
What do you think, Awesome?