America Is Not the Heart (So What Is?)

This book ain’t for everyone. I’d understand if people would say it’s tedious and dragging to read for several reasons: No quotation marks to guide you who’s talking. Too many names that can be deemed unnecessary in the storytelling. Too many jump from one situation to another. Untranslated dialogues and no context clues to help.

But those are the reasons why I’m smitten with it.

I love Elaine Castillo’s way of writing.

It was casual, conversational, and most of all, descriptive in a way that I felt I was reading a movie. Yes, reading a movie. I can’t articulate it much more but every time, in certain books, I would just feel it. Like there’s a lingering heavy or light air around the scene.

And for the parts that were in llocano without any translations, sure, it broke my reading experience but since I’ve encountered that in films, I’ve been thinking if it’s because characters somehow don’t want to let the audience know what they are talking about. Like it’s a secret or something they only have to know. It might not work so well in books or texts but I’m starting to accept it, little by little.

And ever since, I’m in awe of authors who stopped or don’t use quotation marks in conversations. It started with Frank McCourt, then Ricky Lee, now, I have Elaine Castillo.

My high school English teacher who introduced me to McCourt emphasized his lack of quotation marks got him the Pulitzer. She said it makes the reading more natural and direct. Mindblown, I agreed.

For the plot itself, people would probably like to learn about Hero’s experiences in the mountains, the torture in the camp, but that’s not what the book is about. It’s about her another life. Because how many lives can you fit in a lifetime? How many times can you be born, die, heal, and live again?

For some, healing and living again is impossible. 

This has a very strong prologue which opens the readers to Paz’s world. For some, it can be appalling that it was treated as a side story. But was it? Wasn’t the prologue sprinkled throughout until that cinematic ending?

I loved how Castillo made me feel I was in Roni’s school. In Roni’s house. In Hero’s car. In Rosalyn’s car. In Lolo Boy and Lola Adela’s restaurant, kitchen, and garden.

In Mai’s salon that I can smell the place and feel Rosalyn’s hands washing my hair.

In Rosalyn’s room. In the stretch of the Bay Area. 

The noise of the karaoke and chatter during Christmas parties. All the clinks of beer bottles.

The way Hero was confused while talking to strangers. Hearing so many names but I would just forget them in a few pages because that’s what happens in big Filipino parties.

I felt Hero’s jealousy toward Roni and in a snap, becomes a real-life hero, running faster than The Flash, just to get Roni out of danger.

I felt Hero’s love and anger toward her favorite Tito Pol at the same time. Her embarrassment toward Tita Paz. How she felt Tita Paz’s burdens and she saw past her actions. I saw Tita Paz with Bell's Palsy.

It was as if I was there.

I felt Lola Adela massaging Hero’s hands with that green Efficascent Oil. To the point that I can even smell it. I felt safe, too, and cried when Lola Adela said, Ligtas ka rito. 

Healing is indeed a world.

It was comforting. Like someone turned on the light. I’m out of the dark.

(And I hope that’s what Hero felt. Because she deserves it.)