Who Inspires You?

It was almost two weeks ago when Raf invited me to a "call" where the team would have a little sharing. I didn't know what it would be about except the theme was about inspiring others.

I signed up, which I normally do not do, with the aim to just listen to the group. I didn't intend to share for I guess I have nothing to share? However, the setup was interactive. A question flashes on screen and each has to answer. I had a few realizations.

One, I suck at these questions or groupings. Can we just have a "technical" Q & A instead? Something objective and not subjective where I have to say my opinions. Haha! Perhaps, it was harder for me to answer Raf's questions because, yes, I don't open up. I always try not to be vulnerable about my emotions, my thoughts. But I enjoyed the session, definitely. Why? I was with people who allowed themselves to be vulnerable, to speak of their truth, and maybe, it was something I admired that time.

Two, which is the main reason of this entry, that question on the photo above.

It took me so looooong (longer than the first ones, despite mostly choosing to answer last) to find an answer to this question. I had been "unpacking™" (I am putting a trademark sign because this is care of Rohj) the question so many times to find an answer. Been listening to each of them, thinking if I can just copy their answers but I really couldn't find the right match. I could've just said, Oh, my parents, my family, someone I know, someone I adore with his/her/their craft, but I wanted to answer each question truthfully (naks, nagiging honest pala ako), at my best, hence the problem.

I realized, since I had been trying to be honest, I didn't have anyone who inspires me. It was probably the hubris talking or plainly, nobody crosses my mind. Don't get me wrong for not saying 'twas my family or loved ones. I just couldn't utter it. Definitely, it was the hubris. Hubris in a way that I think the person I will say is someone I will put on the pedestal. That pedestal and kind of standard which right now, remains empty. OR MAYBE! I am really uninspired at the moment. Or I have never been inspired. Ever.

How does it feel? Does it send chills down your spine? Does it make you feel screwy? How about elated? That, I don't know.

I remained honest in answering the question, I really don't have an answer, with parting words that Maybe, it's time to find someone who inspires me.