May inattendan akong activity or session sa work kanina. Tapos lalong na reinforce 'yung thought ko about myself that I always want answers or solutions.
For example, when I ask for something, like an advice, I want solutions, I want answers. Ayoko ng mga motherhood statements o kaya tatanungin ako pabalik and make me realize the answer is just within me — kasi alam ko na 'yung sagot most likely but I either want to prove I am right or I want to know if I am wrong.
That conversations as mere conversations or conversations that result to reflections don't work for me. Gaya ng self-help books na lagi kong sinasabi, I already know what they are talking about, they just serve as reminders (na parang hindi ko naman kailangan kasi ie-elbow ko lang 'yung iba). Mas magaling lang sila mag articulate sa akin. (Wow, ang yabang ko sa I already know.)
And I think this is my problem. Paano kung wala naman kasi talagang sagot lahat? O kaya 'yung sagot ay hindi structured gaya nang iniisip kong kailangan ko? Na hindi siya one way street. Pero kung hindi siya one way street, it's either a dead end or it's a maze. May labasan at labasan pa rin. (See? I just refuted myself.)
Why is my brain like this? Or maybe I just really had no idea about how the session works that I made assumptions — which were big time wrong. Better yet, because I was an audience and perhaps, if I was the one involved, I might have a different perspective about it. And maybe think that, This is what I needed all along.
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What do you think, Awesome?